What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 17.06.2025 17:14
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
I couldn’t, believe it.
How did Nickelback gain a large fan base despite criticism of their music?
And who doesn’t know suffering?
She found it foreign!.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
How do I become a Buddhist, and can someone explain Buddhism to me?
He was dying to do it , i knew.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
Why do people love to live alone in a house?
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
I did it because my mum asked me too!
What did i know ?
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Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
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My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
What are the most meaningful Jewish jokes that reveal insights about Jewish culture?
But it wasn’t much.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
My family never makes their pension either.
What is your wildest experience in Bangalore that you haven’t told anyone?
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
I think the readers, may guess!
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
Why is my ex mad I moved on when he dumped me?
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
She wouldn,t have been !
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I write beautiful poetry .
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
Why do Indian parents force their kids to do stuff?
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
What is the difference between the terms "Millennials" and "kids"?
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
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She was in good health!
When she asked me how she looked .
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
I said to her
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
I waited trembling.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
This is soul school!.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
One cannot live in the past .
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
So whats the point in blame.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
They are buried together, in the same grave..
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
Comes on , in middle age.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
I was very sick at this time too.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
I had hoped to write a book about this .
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
He knew the spot.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
My mum and dad in the seventies!
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
I never cut or harmed myself..
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
We were not on the streets..
I was 9 years of age.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
Im still living with it.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
I will be 64.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
Who then, do I blame.?
This is how, and why children get BPD.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
We all went to grammer schools
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
She married twice! .
On the 31st of Jan this month .
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
Would this be the day?
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
Why did i forgive my father ?
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
Ive learnt so much.
And i lived it daily.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
But, we were locked up after school.
He resisted the act ,that day.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
Was to survive, this bastard.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
But ive been too sick for many years..
So, i spoilt her more .
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
Where the ultimate outsiders.
I was scared of men, in general
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
I have no regrets .
She loved him until the end.
My life is so biszare .
All the time i was locked up.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
Put me off passion for life!!
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
Im dying but, im not bitter.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
As i do to all so called friends.?
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
(And it was in our own minds.)
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
It was going to be , some day.
I don,t even have a pension.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
I could never make a relationship work though!
Especially a lifetime of it.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
I was seconnd youngest,
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!